Spidersensation
by Aids Machine
Summary: Has Spiderman finally met his match? Or has his match met his snatch? Read to find out what happens to our favorite Spider...WARNING: Not for the slow of wit.;)


SPIDER-SENSATION  
  
One day a man was walking down the street perusing through window stalls. He walked passed his favourite store and he noticed something inside. The man ran inside and said, "Oh my God!!! It's Spiderman." He started talking to the super-hero. "Hey Spidey, what the hell are you doing in a shop like this?" Spiderman didn't answer back. "How would you like to come back to my place Spidey?" Spiderman did not reply. The man walked up to the counter and talked to the shopkeeper. He pointed over at the amazing find in the front window. Spiderman did nothing about the man positioning attention on him. The man returned over to Spiderman. "Hey Spidey how would you like to come for a ride with me?" Spiderman, neither agreed or disagreed with the man's proposal. "Cummon, lets go."  
  
The man walked out the front door with Spiderman. He then led Spiderman to his car. "Cummon Spidey, in the back old son." After Spiderman uncomfortably lied down in the back seat, the man started up the car engine and drove off down the street.  
  
As the man was driving Spiderman yelled out, "My Spider sense is tingling!" The man replied, "It will probably be tingling a lot more soon. Hahahaha." Spiderman didn't seem to understand the man's subtle remark.  
  
About ten minutes later, the man's car stopped. He stopped in front of a large high-rise. "Hey Spidey, we're home!" The man saying this made it clear that the high-rise was an apartment building. The man then led Spiderman up what seemed like never-ending staircase. About an eternity later they walked in front of a door marked '43'. The man pulled a pair of keys out his pocket and unlocked the door, then taking Spiderman inside. Inside were picture portraits of Spiderman everywhere. Pictures on the roof, walls and even on the old revolving ceiling fans. Spiderman made himself comfortable by lying down on the couch, as the man slowly walked into the bathroom. The sound of spraying water pounded the floor of the shower. Steam floated out from the shower under the bathroom door. Spiderman waited for the man to come out. He just stared blankly straight ahead at a portrait of himself swinging between buildings on a thread of web. Didn't blink. Didn't move.  
  
The loud pounding of water stopped suddenly. Then a louder noise came out from the bathroom. It was the man singing. Signing the theme song from the Spiderman movie. Outside the window cats were yowling and dogs were howling. Then the man stopped singing abruptly and yelled out, "Shut the hell up you stupid animals!" He then started whistling an unfamiliar tune. He then continued drying himself off. A couple of minutes later the bathroom door opened and out stepped the man. He was buck-naked. He walked slowly down the short hallway and over to the couch. He pulled Spiderman up and then went down on his knees. Spiderman then said, "My Spider sense is tingling!" just like he did in the car. He then started spurting out uncontrolled phrases. "Keep at it MJ" "Oh Mary Jane" "My Spider sense is sensing pleasure" "My Spider sense is tingling...MJ!!!" Then he repeated the phrases again in the same order as before.  
  
The man then changed Spiderman's position and Spiderman started to describe his Spider sense once more.  
  
All of a sudden an alarm sounded. The man looked towards the roof only to see a smoke detector sounding. He looked to his stove. On it was a toaster with a smoky orange flame coming out of the top. The man yelled with annoyance, and as if the yelling was a trigger, the water systems turned on and the whole room was sprayed with water from the ceiling. The man screamed so loud that probably the neighbourhood could hear. Spiderman then started talking very slurred, "May spardda sinz tannin" "Ennajay awe" The man ran over to the water system switches and turned everything off. The water stopped and so did the alarm. He turned around and looked over at Spiderman. He just stared blankly at the saturated super-hero. The man groggily walked over and turned Spiderman over. He looked at his back. "What a bloody waste. Life saving system my arse." The man then stopped Spiderman from talking by flicking his finger on the OFF switch. 


End file.
